This is a really thoughtful post. I think there is a lot we do not reflect on. My own view of my masochism etc. is that it saved me from a fate far worse. It is strange to think of our rehearsed pain scenarios that way, but the idea fits well with the suggestion that Tiger makes that everyone lives a bit this way. All our lives run in familiar valleys…to keep moving them hurts a lot. The scenarios we masochists and submissives cook up actually bring these things to light, making them apparent. Of course, underneath, we simmer with a lot of different things.
Source: Dealing with a Vanilla Past